Discipline is important at our house, and with three young boys it tends to get pretty rowdy pretty quickly. The title of this book really gives it a lot to live up to, and I think it does a pretty good job.
You may recognize the author, Elizabeth Pantley from her other “No-Cry” books, and her basic premise is that making a positive emotional connection with your kids is the way to bring order to chaos and leave the screaming behind.
Much of her advice is not new, but it is great to have it all in one place for easy reference. Follow through on what you say you’re going to do, give kids a choice of 2 things that are acceptable to you, get down at their level when you speak to them, routines are important, the uses of distraction and redirection, and using positive language are all techniques I’ve heard before, but I liked her quick summaries of how to make these strategies work for you. If you don’t have time to read a lot of parenting books, these brief notes can be a life saver.
Where this book begins to differentiate itself from the pack is the large section in the middle devoted to parental anger — the possible reasons behind it, very specific tools to manage it, and the reassurance that being angry at your kids will not scar them.
But by far the best part of this book is the encyclopedia of irritating behaviors… um I mean “developmentally-appropriate behaviors that adults don’t enjoy witnessing” — organized alphabetically, no less — complete with solutions to these problems. Here’s a selection of just a few of the topics addressed:
- Bath, not behaving in (See also Bath, not wanting one, Bath, won’t get out)
- Bossiness
- Hitting a parent
- Lying
- Other people’s undisciplined children
- Sharing
- Sibling fights
- and lots on Sleep
What I love about these quick-hits is that when you’re at the end of your rope with a particular problem, you don’t have to wade through a huge parenting book to find the tidbit you need right then. This book is full of solutions to common parenting problems, and I recommend it.
This review of Elizabeth Pantley’s “The No-Cry Discipline Solution” is part of a MotherTalk Book Tour.
Comments 2
Thanks for your great comments on my book! So nice to hear that you find the anger and ‘encyclopedia’ chapters helpful. As a work-at-home mom of four I tried to make the book busy-mom-friendly — most of us don’t have endless hours to read (let alone ten minutes!) as I imagine that being a mom of three young boys you totally understand! ~ :o)
Posted 03 Jun 2007 at 6:34 am ¶It is not a coincidence that the strategies you summarized are the same ones used by effective elementary teachers.
Posted 05 Jun 2007 at 6:51 am ¶Trackbacks & Pingbacks 2
[...] June 1: The tour kicks off with Christa at Happy Woman Blues, who says “One of the features I appreciated most about this book are the ‘Parent-Speak’ segments, short blurbs from other mothers and fathers who have faced the issues Pantley is discussing. They round out the advice with in-the-trenches wisdom; Pantley understands that what works for her as a mother won’t work for all of us, so she has asked others to illuminate her points in different lights.” Erika at Plain Jane Mom says “By far the best part of this book is the encyclopedia of irritating behaviors… um I mean “developmentally-appropriate behaviors that adults don’t enjoy witnessing” — organized alphabetically, no less — complete with solutions to these problems… What I love about these quick-hits is that when you’re at the end of your rope with a particular problem, you don’t have to wade through a huge parenting book to find the tidbit you need right then. This book is full of solutions to common parenting problems, and I recommend it.” And Caroline at Food for Thought says “Lest you get the impression from her title that this book will have you tiptoeing around your kids, afraid to discipline them lest they shatter like so many wineglasses, don’t worry. Pantley’s not looking to provoke tears, but she acknowledges — often — that telling your kids no is going to upset them, and that’s ok. As she puts it, ‘You want your child to be unhappy about his misbehavior and the consequences it brings.’” Still to come today: Mrs. Mogul. [...]
[...] What are the consequences of parenting? June 4th, 2007 by Michael Davidsen Plain Jane Mom writes about Elizabeth Pantley’s No-Cry Discipline book, which she describes as saying that “making a positive emotional connection with your kids is the way to bring order to chaos and leave the screaming behind.” [...]
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